The CLUAS Archive: 1998 - 2011

Sound Waves

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29

Imagine if Podge & Rodge or Dustin were funny. Not just vulgar but funny too. Well, Fur TV manages to not only be far more vulgar than either the Ballydung brothers or that wizened bird but gosh darn funny too. Here is Fat Ed's guide to metal...

 


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20

Some protest movements are just too dumb to be real...but they are. Take, for example, the Legalise Cannabis Movement. A case of 'Dude, where's my banner?' methinks.


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20

10 things I hate about cycling in Dublin

Undulating cycle paths built to accommodate the spotless 4WDs of the homeowners situated along the route. It’s an off road vehicle for Chrissakes!

Pedestrian crossings every 500 metres that pedestrians never use because they are too busy jaywalking across the road and right into your path.

Drivers who think that the correct position of the passenger side of their car is flush with the kerb.

Van drivers (see S.3)

Pedestrians who walk along cycle paths. Do the dumb fuckers not see the big symbols of the cyclist painted on the ground in front of them?

Recumbent cycles; they were banned by the UCI in the 1930s. They should also be banned from Irish thoroughfares and the people who ride them made to learn how to cycle properly.

Cyclists that lag behind you on the road then pull in front of you at traffic lights, obstructing your way as you take off after the lights turn green

Single speed racers. No, I don’t think you are some form of elite cycling purist. I think you are a twat who objects to progress, particularly when these retro-rothars can cost more than a bike with gears and brakes. Why not go the whole hog and re-fit the bloody thing with solid rubber wheels?

Anyone who rides a mountain bike in an urban area or brings the damn thing into the countryside on the back of a 4WD just so they can cycle it around for a couple of hours. What part of ‘Mountain Bike’ do you not understand?

50 something commuting cyclists who think they are competing in the Tour De France, down to the replica team wear. Just because they sell it, does not mean you have to wear it.


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13

To be honest, although I am a big fan of both Johnny Cash and Ray Charles I was not that hot on their respective biopics 'Walk The Line' and 'Ray'. After seeing them, one after the other, I got the two of them mixed up so similar were they in terms of the base storyline; dirt poor Sourthern boy, guilt ridden over the death of his brother and struggling under the influence of hard ass domineering parents, leaves home to make his way in the music business. So 'Dewey Cox' was, to the say the least, fresh air, skewering the po-faced storytelling and pretensions of those target films in much the same way that MAD magazine would send up big hit movies within its pages. Having said that, any movie which features Lyle Lovett and Jackson Browne doing what they do best, gets my vote. Here is a personal favourite moment from 'Dewey' in which the too sweet by half lovey dovey performance of a certain country music duo is lampooned to great effect.

 


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12

Artist: P.I.L

Title: 'Album'

Released: 1985

Note: Although the single 'Rise' put Johnny Lydon and co back in the charts and onto Top of the Pops, 'Album' worked as a cohesive whole and was selected by none other than the South Bank Show as a highlight in their 1985 end of year review.

Best Track: 'Ease'

 

Artist: Robie Robertson

Title: 'Robbie Robertson

Released: 1987

Note:  Daniel Lanois, U2 and Peter Gabriel all collaborated on this album which completes a trio of classic 80s albums that include Joshua Tree and SO.

Best Track: 'Fallen Angel'

 

Artist: Kate Bush

Title: 'Hounds of Love'

Released: 1985

Note: Possibly the greatest concept album of them all and certainly the sexiest sounding. 'Cloudbusting', 'Running Up That Hill' and the title track are all classics but our favourites are 'Under Ice' and 'Jig of Life'.

Best Track: 'Cloud Busting'

 

Artist: The Cult

Title:  Love

Released: 1985

Note: The guitar lick for 'She Sells Sanctuary' is possibly the greatest of them. Dark, gothic and containing probably the silliest lyrics ever heard on a classic album

Best Track: 'Rain'

 

Artist: The Sisters of Mercy

Title: Floodland

Released: 1987

Note: This record actually contains the silliest lyrics ever heard on a classic album and represents the zenith of Jim Steinman's producing career. If a mountain could write music, it would sound like this.

Best Track: 'Dominion / Mother Russia'

 

Artist: Simple Minds

Title: Once Upon A Time

Released: 1985

Note: The black, white and gold cover art and the stadium wide sound production were obvious influences on the Joshua Tree which was released two years later but, for my money, this is more fun. Over the top lyrics were married to epic soundscapes which, combined with a fantastic Croke Park gig that climaxed with a lightening storm make this one of my all time favourites.

Best Track: 'Alive and Kicking'

 

 


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05

Singer under fire after shouting 'Tibet! Tibet!' after performing her song Declare Independence at Shanghai concert.

Here is a full report and a clip of the moment itself courtesy of The Guardian,

 


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04

Take 'GI Jane', for example, the simple tale of a brilliant young female officer who signs up as a test case for the Navy SEALS and who in one scene is taught through direct experience the interrogation technique known quaintly as  waterboarding as part of her basic training. Now I have a problem with this. According to Amnesty International, waterboarding is a form of torture and because it is a form of torture there is consequently an absolute ban on it by the European Court of Human Rights. Yet, here is a fictional depiction albeit 10 years old, of American soldiers being taught how to torture people in contravention of fundamental human rights, and all in the name of an entertainment which has the message that there should be more gender equality in Western Society. You work it out, words fail me.


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20

If there are three things that politicised me as a callow student, it was in no particular order a) the way that musicians around the world took a stand against Apartheid South Africa b) the music of Christy Moore, Steve Earle and Bruce Springsteen and c) a small paragraph on the liner notes for U2's 'The Joshua Tree' that encouraged fans to join Amnesty International.

Two decades later, artists such as Yoko Ono Lennon and Mia Farrow are again taking a stand against abuses of human rights and again they are mobilising popular opinion and boycotts, an Irish invention by the way, against the continuing crisis in Darfur. So Sound Waves, being a rather liberal blog asks, should Ireland boycott the Beijing Olympcs? To help you decide I have posted up some (very few) relevant links below and, should you then come to the conclusion, either yes or no, you can convey your support of or protest against Ireland's planned participation in these games, directly to Ireland's Olympians.

The Olympic Council of Ireland

Beijing 2008 Olympic Games: Official Site

Irish Defences Forces To Deploy in Chad

BBC: Q&A, Sudan's Darfur Crisis

Amnesty International (Irish Section)

China & Darfur: Washington Post


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15

If you only download one track, make sure it is, "Right To Arm Bears', a subversive take on the American obsession with hunting wild animals, in which the animals fight back. Gnarly. To hear preview clips from the album click on to Lost Highway Records - Paul Westerburg - Open Season.


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Nuggets from our archive

2005Michael Jackson: demon or demonised? Or both?, written by Aidan Curran. Four years on this is still a great read, especially in the light of his recent death. Indeed the day after Michael Jackson died the CLUAS website saw an immediate surge of traffic as thousands visited CLUAS.com to read this very article.