The CLUAS Archive: 1998 - 2011


I was having a few quiet beers with one of my mates the other night and the conversation turned to music, and shortly after, to heated argument as we struggled to agree who was and who was not a rock and roll star. It all started when I dissed Gary Lightbody and, for good measure, Chris Martin. My friend reacted badly to this as they are two of his favourite musicians and before we knew it we were citing record sales, critical reviews, respective fanbases, brands of endorsed musical instruments, favoured pastimes and anything else we could think of to attack or defend the general thesis. Finally, I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation and said, "Sweet Jesus, would Chris Martin look good in a black leather jacket ?" at which my mate froze, mouth open, pint in mid air and then exclaimed, "Say that again". "Ok mate, would any of your heroes look good in a black leather jacket?" "That's it, that's the acid test, isn't it?". he responded.

You see, you can talk all you like about popularity but when it comes down the wire, the real test, the black leather jacket test, is whether you look good in one and if you do then, regardless of whether you are a musician or even a dolphin trainer, then you are, without question, a rock and roll star. So, take a bow, Bruce Springsteen, Lou Reed, Iggy Pop, Bono and The Ramones, you all look great in the cowhide.

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Nuggets from our archive

2006 - Review of Neosupervital's debut album, written by Doctor Binokular. The famously compelling review, complete with pie charts that compare the angst of Neosupervital with the angst of the reviewer. As you do.