The CLUAS Archive: 1998 - 2011


This is supposed to be a series of blogs that look at the individuals who populate Irish indie gigs and yet, in this particular entry, Key Notes will be profiling the type of person who would never be seen alone.

scenesters are far too cool for capital letters.  The time you and I waste searching for the shift key (or, worse still, caps lock) is time they can spend getting their fringe just right.  Indeed, such is their dedication to this, they only purchase products beginning with lower case letters, such as iPhones, iPods and, well, you get the idea.  It is one of nature's great mysteries that scenesters are very self-aware and yet, almost always unaware of their status as scenesters.  As such, they are amongst the most deluded of the Irish indie gig goers.

How to spot one:
For a start, you won't spot just one as scenesters are the cattle of the Irish indie scene, roaming, as they do, in herds.  The male of the species tend to speak at a higher pitch than the average Irish male.  This may have something to do with the fact he appears to be wearing his 15 year old sister's jeans.  Beneath these ill-fitting jeans you're likely to find pointy shoes or white canvas trainers, depending on the scenesters mood before he left home.  The torso tends to be covered with an equally tight fitting t-shirt adorned with the logo of a band the scenester may never have actually listened to.   The very worst scenester ends up looking like a Jonas Brother!

The female of the species loves Urban Outfitters, indeed, in a survey carried out by this blog recently, 82% of female scenesters listed Urban Outfitters as their favourite shop.  The remaining 18% pretended I didn't exist.  The female scenester will, therefore, often be seen without a drink in hand, having spent 85 euro on leggings that look exactly like those her older sister threw away before the start of Italia '90.  Female scenesters often bald quicker than non-scenesters due, in part, to their penchant for wearing hats indoors.

Behavioural Characteristics:
scenesters will spend 90% of every gig talking amongst themselves, about themselves.  They will spend the remaining 10% attempting to cheer and 'whoop' louder than anyone else at the end of songs while shouting for the band to play the one song they know from that album the NME said was the best thing since last week's album of the week.

It should also be noted that almost every scenester appears to be in a band though, strangely, you won't have heard of them as they've never actually played a gig or recorded any material.  They do have a 'really cool' name though, probably beginning with 'the.'

What they are likely to say:
'What was that support band wearing; it should have been my band up there.'

What you are likely to say:
'Look love, they have a set-list that they're going to stick to, no matter how much you shout.'

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