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Funny Oasis Quotes
Last Post 07 Jun 2003 05:29 PM by DrMylesOBoogie. 9 Replies.
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DrMylesOBoogieUser is Offline
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DrMylesOBoogie

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07 Jun 2003 05:29 PM
    Starts off with the full story of the Oasis Vs. Coldplay feud At a recent charity concert for kids with cancer, Coldplay's Chris Martin took the opportunity to vent his anti-war views: During Everything’s Not Lost he urged the crowd: “Don’t be afraid to sing along, sing to end this war.” He also changed the lyrics of A Rush Of Blood To The Head to “I’m going to buy a gun and start a meaningless war.” Not entirely unexpected since he's been a vocal opponent of the war. But it didn't sit well with Liam Gallagher of Oasis, who got off a profanity laced drunken tirade: “Chris Martin shouldn’t be using this cause to bang on about his own f***in’ views on the war. “If him and his gawky bird (Gwyneth Paltrow - ed.) want to go banging on about the war they can do it at their own gigs. “That lot are just a bunch of nobhead students — Chris Martin looks like a f***in’ geography teacher. What’s all that f***in’ s*** with writing messages about Free Trade on his hand when he’s playing. If he wants to write things down I’ll give him a f***in’ pen and a pad of paper. Bunch of students. “These gigs are about kids who have got cancer, they’ve got to fight a war every day of their lives. That’s what we’re all here doing this for.” Maybe he has a point but I was laughing too hard to take it seriously. There must be no stronger insult to a rock star than to say he looks like a geography teacher. Liam on Oasis without Noel Interviewer: Do you think that Oasis would have had the same level of success without Noel in the band Liam: I don't know. It's like asking if Jesus Christ would have been a pervert if he'd had a crisp packet stuck on his head? Noel Gallagher on success "... Ive got 87 million quid in the bank right now. I've got 3 stalkers. Am I happy with that? NO I'M NOT! I WANT MORE!" Noel on showbiz parties .."you would be at the bar and some bloke would say, would you pass us that @#%$ glass of red wine there, and your like WOW THATS GEROGE MICHEAL, and THE EDGE!!! Whoa, there's Sting, throw him out!" excerpt from the Phone Ins with the band on US Radio. Caller: "I was wondering. Do you have any advice for a young guy in a band who wants to make it REALLY big?" Liam: "Yeah man, get yourself a pair of step ladders." Noel on worship - 'when youre at glastonbury theres all this rivalry, cos youve all got your own campervan and its like 'im not talking to oasis' but its not our fault were the best band in the world, come over and pay homage' Noel on what he wants - "All I ever wanted to do was make a record. Here's what you do: you pick up your guitar, you rip a few people's tunes off, you swap them round a bit, get your brother in the band, punch his head in every now and again, and it sells. I'm a lucky bastard. I'm probably the single most lucky man in the world, apart from our Liam." Liam on U2's Bono - "You see pictures of Bono running around LA with his little white legs and a bottle of Volvic and he looks like a fanny." Liam on a good night out - "I was walking along and this chair came flying past me, and another,and another, and I thought, 'man, is this gonna be a good night'." Liam on aliens - "If I saw an alien, I'd tell it to f**k right off because whatever planet he came from they wouldn't have the Beatles or any deccent f*****g music. So they can f**k right off, I ain't going anywhere with them." Liam on vanity - "I suppose I do get sad, but not for too long. I just look in the mirror and go, 'What a f***ing good-looking f*** you are.' And then I brighten up." Liam on Victoria (Posh Spice) Beckham - "She can't even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book." Liam on Oasis success - Interviewer: "What makes Oasis different?" Bonehead: "Good songs." Liam: "And a handsome lead singer with a beard." Liam on his bum - ''I've got a @#%$ hairy ar$e, I've got a rasta ar$e. RAAAASTAAAAA" Liam on yanks - "I'm not going to play for silly yanks when I haven't got a house to live in!" Liam at the MTV Music Video Awards in New York 1996 - "Allright this party's @#%$ and we're here to liven things up a bit. You know you're not havin' a good time but you're all too scared to say it, ya know mate." Liam on discipline - "Discipline? I don't know the meaning of the word." Liam at PinkPop 2000 when the audience began throwing things at him - "I can't @#%$ sing and duck at the same time" Liam on the search for a new bass player - "Yeah, ‘coz they’re all kn**heads anyway, aren’t they? We auditioned a bass player the other day but he like started singing songs about frogs and that, so we had to get rid of him" Liams identity crisis - "John Lennon thought he was god. I just think I'm John Lennon." Liam after a rock was thrown at him on stage - "Whoever's throwing things like this on stage...like...if you don't like the music, @#%$ off! If there're any more coming on, I'm off. And you gotta deal with all these people here who are enjoying themselves. If you don't like it, go @#%$ hang yourself! Don't be throwing @#%$ stones on stage like this...I don't wanna go blind over some @#%$ @#%$! This one's called...this one's called Roll With It, @#%$!" Liam gives a reason for thrashing his hotel room - "There was this bug in my room and I thought, 'you can fook off, this is my room.' " A great one from his brother Noel 'Of course I love Liam, but not as much as I love a pot-noodle' Not Oasis but funny Ricky Martin - "They all want me: boys, girls, men, women, dogs, cats... they all want to have sex with Ricky"
    WickerUser is Offline
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    Wicker

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    09 Jun 2003 12:37 PM
    the guvnorUser is Offline
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    the guvnor

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    11 Jun 2003 01:17 PM
    Absolutely f**king hilarious! Top quality!!
    DrMylesOBoogieUser is Offline
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    DrMylesOBoogie

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    11 Jun 2003 06:27 PM
    Yep quality stuff. Everyone viewed it 2 replyed. typical. If it was Thom Yorke quotes people would be more compelled to reply even though the quotes wouldnt be as good.
    peace03User is Offline
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    peace03

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    11 Jun 2003 08:05 PM
    Ha ha ha ha ha. Whatever anyone says about Oasis, they're funny as f*ck. And the funny thing is, when Coldplay started to hit the big time, Chris Martin was goin on about how much of a legend he thought Liam was...ha ha...on yer knees Martin you c*cksucker. You write music for mothers
    wham-bam-thankyou-mamUser is Offline
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    wham-bam-thankyou-mam

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    13 Jun 2003 05:00 AM
    ******* Content removed by Moderator ********** This post contained a rather frail threat to nobody in particular. However, I suspect the poster might know the identities of some of our members so (much as it pains me to do so), it has been zipped and replies to it deleted. Can we please leave our handbags at the door to this website?
    robso55User is Offline
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    robso55

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    13 Jun 2003 10:53 AM
    Great stuff, they are the funniest bastards in rock pop shlock pity their music is no longer good...oh well as noel says he does have 87 million in the bank so he must not be doing much wrong..
    DrMylesOBoogieUser is Offline
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    DrMylesOBoogie

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    15 Jun 2003 03:36 PM
    Vent My Spleen Can ya email us with what was deleted please? mylesoboogie@hotmail.com
    king of nailsUser is Offline
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    king of nails

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    19 Jun 2003 09:20 PM
    last night i had me some german beers and dug out some really old tapes...the memories!...among them was a classic oasis (noel n bonehead) i/view w. dave fanning from 94, before their 1st irish gig in the tivoli, before the debut LP had even come out...noel was f**kin HILARIOUS...they won't sound funny written here but some of the highlights were... - before playing a brilliant acoustic version of 'slide away', noel goes "this was recorded 2 days ago, it isn't live atall by the way" - describing the infamous brawl at a gig in the riverside, newcastle, he says "ironically enough, on the whole tour, that was where we sold the most t-shirts" (dave f. - "what?, to soak up the blood!") and on why some guy had started it all by decking him on stage "i had been sleeping with his girlfriend, that might've had summat to do with it..." - musing on the appeal of rock bands "we're like a gang with guitars, it's like were the magnificent seven or summat, well, er, in fact there's five of us but..." anyways, you'd have to hear it!...that acoustic version of 'slide away' is the best thing they've ever done, the twin guitars are amazing, honest...
    flagmanUser is Offline
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    flagman

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    20 Jun 2003 07:40 AM
    Yeah, I heard that version 'Slide Away' many moons ago, excellent.
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