Jun 5

Written by:
Tuesday, June 05, 2007 

Just because we're living a wonderfully glamorous and exotic life in Paris, that doesn't mean that we have lost touch with our roots or forgotten about everyone back in Eire.

We want to give something back to you - and since we don't want to invite you to stay with us in Paris, we thought we'd help the Leaving Cert students among you. So, here's a quick glimpse of this year's French paper:

1. Reading Comprehension:

Read the following extract from a conversation between a young innocent English girl (Jane) and a Frenchman of dubious morals (Serge). Then answer the questions:

Jane: Je t'aime! Oh, oui, je t'aime!
Serge: Moi non plus.
Jane: Tu es la vague; moi, l'île nue
Serge: Je vais et je viens entre tes reins.
Jane: Maintenant, maintenant, tiens!! Ohhhhh *long org@smic groan*

(a) Outline the geographical imagery that Jane uses to suggest that she is well up for it.
(b) How does Serge indicate that he is a consultant proctologist at his local hospital?
(c) In your opinion, how could radio stations and church leaders suffer moral outrage at this conversation, despite not being able to understand any of it? Give reasons for your answer.

2. Writing.

You wish to attend a pop festival in Brittany this summer. Write to Madame Dubois, the local campsite owner and rock impresario, to ask for information. Your letter should include the following points:

- how to get there - by specially-subsidised French state transport, or by one decrepit Dublin bus every hour that gets caught in the traffic jam at the narrow exit to the field/car-park.
- whether a mortgage plan is necessary for ticket purchase, or if the average French industrial wage will suffice.
- if Arcade Fire will be there (as at every outdoor French event this summer, including the French Open tennis final and Monsieur Lenoir's Bastille Day barbecue).
- if camping is available (and if it is expected to be attacked and torched by drunken French hooligans in PSG jerseys, and if Madame Dubois the promoter will threaten to sue you if you even hint that it happened).

3. Oral.

Choose one of the following points to discuss in French with the examiner, using the video (below) of the sample exam (by D. Rice of Newbridge CBS) to help you.

 - How your complete fear and disgust regarding fame doesn't dissuade you from continuing to be a pop star performing before thousands of paying punters.

 - How the aforementioned paying punters should listen in reverential silence and not to sing along, despite being at a music event.

 - How you like sailing your little boat.

(Tip: The examiner may also decide to ask you about your recently-departed co-vocalist and how you're going to continue promoting an album that featured her so prominently. Please bear in mind that storming out of the exam hall is an automatic fail)