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French football songs

Oct 20

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009  RssIcon

Your blogger has just become the CLUAS War Correspondent (Paris).

With sickening inevitability, Ireland have been drawn to play France in the World Cup qualifying play-off, which leaves us deep in enemy territory. Our local baker insists to us that he has no croissants left, despite the smell of freshly-baked bread. The metro won't stop for us, just speeding by the platform as the driver cackles madly. And waiters are even more obnoxious than usual, taking our order with a sneery 'Fais chier, putain d'irlandais!'

Mindful of our prestigious position as your representative in France, your War Corr. (P.) will not descend to their level, though we're no longer tipping the waiters.

This blog has featured French football on many occasions. Just last week we told you about a song of love for irritating French coach Raymond Domenech - 'Je Kiffe Raymond' by Catherine Ringer (that's "ran-jay" to you), singer with Les Rita Mitsouko. The title is a slang way of saying "J'aime Raymond" ("I Love Raymond"), not a phrase ever used by a good 99% of French people.

Still, we can learn from this so start practising: "zhe keef Trap"; "zhe keef le Duffer" and (if you're feeling controversial) "zhe keef Andy Reid avec la grande derriere. Où est Andy Reid?"

What can you expect French fans to be singing in Croke Park on 14 November? Fortunately, there won't be any of the PSG ultras with their bizarre mix of stiff-arm salutes and the drum roll from 'Bolero'. Your ordinary Jacques le Frenchman will be singing 'La Marseillaise' before, during and after the match so you'll need a bit more than a half-hearted "shinnafeenafall" to match that. As we explained here, in remembrance of France's 1998 World Cup win you'll hear a chorus of the trumpet break from the Hermes House Band's cover of 'I Will Survive'. (In the same style, the riff from 'Seven Nation Army' also gets sung.)

As for chants, a favourite is "Qui ne saute pas n'est pas Français! Hey!" ("Whoever doesn't jump isn't French! Hey!", sung while bouncing up and down.) Should the worst happen and we ship three goals at Croker, our visitors will celebrate with "Et un, et deux, et trois-zéro!" Win, lose or draw there'll be plenty of "Domenech, démissione!" ("Domenech, resign!")

As we said, we won't lower ourselves to snide and uncharitable attacks on France and its football community. On a completely unrelated note, here are former Marseille duo Chris Waddle and Basile Boli with their single 'We've Got A Feeling'. Incredibly, the video is even more cringeworthy than the song: 


Location: Blogs Parent Separator French Letter

8 comment(s) so far...


Re: French football songs

Battle lines are drawn as your crossaint deprivation attests. Something tells me the following is a thing of the past.

By jan on   Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Re: French football songs

At the time, most French people thought the Irish fans actually knew the words :)

BTW Irish people should be aware that Domenech travelled to South Africa last spring to pick the French team hotel for the finals. We can't let him win.

By aidan on   Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Re: French football songs

Are they NOT the words? :O

By jan on   Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Re: French football songs

Well, the doo-doo-doo version is normally only used for special state occasions like presidential inaugurations and public floggings. The real lyrics are about liking the Black and Tans and stealing our Club Orange.

Domenech has just called Ireland 'the England B team'. We need to draft in Brian O'Driscoll and Tadhg Kennelly for this one.

By aidan on   Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Re: French football songs

Mickey 3D has a sweet song on the new lp called La Footballeuse de Sherbrooke. Perhaps you can taunt the locals with that if the going gets tough. Bon chance.

By mike on   Thursday, October 22, 2009

Re: French football songs

Thanks for the tip, Mike, though I'm not a fan of Mickey 3D or any other French acts who talk instead of sing.

Anyway, when I said 'war' I didn't think it would come to this:

- all the home/French tickets sold out, and my contacts in Ireland will struggle now to get one for me from such a small away allocation :(

By aidan on   Thursday, October 22, 2009

Re: French football songs

I tend to like cheering songs when talking/chanting is involved. A great example is when you have a performing artist conveying lyrics in an almost poem-esque type of way. You have a jazz bassist, guitarist, and drummer in the background and you really got something memorable. Translate that onto the field when they decide to sing a song to Trezequet when he scores or Coupet if he saves a goal and you're got a rising successful chant of enormous proportions.

By Mitch on   Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Re: French football songs

Mitch, let us know if there any cool football/soccer songs over there in the States - perhaps the LA Galaxy fans have a ballad of the Beckhams :)

By aidan on   Wednesday, February 03, 2010

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Aidan Curran, based in Paris, has been writing for CLUAS since 2004. More info about Aidan...

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