Kitchens of Distinction - great band, bloody awful name.

Live Kitchens... "Mad as Snow"

My favourite band for the last 11 years also have the worst name.....Mogwai.

Even the band themselves admit it's a terrible name.

Mogwai sounds like a kids TV character.

Belle and Sebastien is a pretty funny name when you realise it also refers to a stupidly twee scottish kids TV program.

Modeselektor sounds like something you call your techno band because "technotronic" was taken, but in actual fact are as far from the po-faced cliches of electronic music as you can get.

There's a case to be made for the Smashing Pumpkins having one of the all time worst names ever too. All the more surprising when you consider how pretentious Billy Corgan is ( and I say that as a Pumpkins fan ).

names don't matter

It is kind of asking for the classic Spinal Tap album review - "Shit Sandwich"

Apart from a band's music, probably the most important asset of a band is it's name - whether it's considered daft or cool is probably irrelevant though. There was a study done a few years ago (can't remember where to find it) that concluded that bands with two words in their name sold better than bands with one word in their name.. something to do with one word band names being less memorable & more easily confused.

this is a silly thing to say, i'm afraid...

define "matter"

I knew a geezer once who played in a band called "Apathy"..

unfortunately that was the very sentiment ppl showed towards the band...

One of my fave groups is Hoovers and Sledgehammers...now thats a band name

Im sure what Una means is that names 'shouldnt' matter.
Unfortunately they do have a huge effect on how much of a chance the average person first gives a band, whether it be conscious or not. I know that the band that I played in (no need to name it) picked a pretty unwise name that gave off the impression we were probably a punk band (not at all!).

But I actually like Ham Sandwich, Belle & Sebastion and Mogwai as names so I suppose it can be a matter of taste as like with anything.

i know that's what she means...

i'll stop here otherwise i'll have starbelgrade calling me abstruse again...

Ridiculous statement.

I'm thinking of starting a band and we are going to call ourselves 'The All-New Mongolian Oversized Purple Diabetic Chicken Dancing Troupe Band Of Doom. On Acid'. We're sticking to it cos 'names don't matter'.

George Bernard and the Hardchaws

names don't matter though. If the music is good, then it doesn't matter what you're called. Also, if the music is s**t, it doesn't matter what you're called either.

"There was a study done a few years ago (can't remember where to find it) that concluded that bands with two words in their name sold better than bands with one word in their name" - that's just a fashion thing. (PS: is that why you're called 'Star Belgrade'?)

of course names don't matter una...

...none of us (apart from starbelgrade it seems) for a moment thought that they did...

...doesn't stop a thread entitled "worst band name ever" having its place at the top table... doesn't warrant a three word response saying "names don't matter" which has nothing to do with it...

look at that - i can be clear when i want to be... seems like i have to be...

And if the music is good, people will look past the ridiculous name and just call you The Mongolians or something a little easier. I think she has a point (within reason). The Beatles is a s**t pun as band name. An in-joke that they probably laughed at for about 2mins. Does it matter now? No. If the music is good, you get over the trivial band name and just get on with it. If the music is good. You might be a little less enthusiastic recommending them to your friends though.

The Beatles wasn't a bad name for the time, considering other people round them had names like The Crickets, Hermans Hermits, etc.

Now it would seem silly, but pretty normal for a 60s pop band.

I don't think it's just a fashion thing.. the study was done over a 40 year period, from the early 60s to the late 90s - pretty much the history of popular music. Obviously done by someone with WAY too much time on their hands! I do agree with you though - if the music's good, that's what's important, but (I thought) it was an interesting point when I read about the study. (Still can't remember where though!)

I wanted a 2 word band name coz a lot of the bands I like have 2 words in their name (Massive Attack, Cocteau Twins, New Order, Aphex Twin, Velvet Underground, Simple Minds) and picked the name Star Belgrade so if I ever got a Cd into the record stores, it'd be in the 'S' section near my beloved Sonic Youth. Sad or what.

"picked the name Star Belgrade so if I ever got a Cd into the record stores, it'd be in the 'S' section near my beloved Sonic Youth. Sad or what." haha - good a reason as any!

Returning to topic; I think the worst name for any band ever is Crispy Ambulance.

I know nothing about that bunch of ne'er-do-wells other than:

1) A reference in a Half Man Half Biscuit (excellent band name) song that goes: "You're going on after Crispy Ambulance".

2) The lead singer "appears" briefly in the recent Joy Division (suitably joyless name for a suitably joyless band, I guess) movie.

'Pugwash' is pretty s**te but sure that's all my fault anyway!! I look at it this way.....if you can possibly try and detach your mind from the wonderful careers of certain mega-bands and go back to the day someone said to someone else "How about Radiohead??" or "I think it has to be Coldplay no?" or "Lads come on.....it's GOT to be The Arctic Monkeys!! It says everything about our style" or "I agree with Frank. It's Cactus world news for me!!".....

I've known potentially good bands who have split up because they couldn't agree on a name. The simple answer is 'pick anything', it rarely comes back to haunt you though I'll never forget the time an American fan e-mailed me to say that in some parts of America 'Pugwash' means the first s**t after anal sex!!

I still thought "it's better than Pearl Jam".....

T.

good band though, crispy ambulance... classic early 80's factory records...

T.

First class...that final thought is gonna hang!

man-o-man-o

Simon

I do think band names are getting worse and more pretentious, ok, a lot of it may be down to the fact that all the good ones are probably already taken, but whats with the trend for indie bands using entire sentences as names? "I love you but I've chose darkness", "get cape, wear cape, fly" etc.

haha!...and here's me thinking that those sentences were the new "cool"...

i've just named my band "my wife can't wrestle but you should see her box"... would you come and see us?

if I could have a ring side seat

Hey Vandala...just wanted to pull you up on your Joy Divison remark. First of all...the band didn't just pick the name out of the air. There's irony in there.

Second of all...Joy Division were not a joyless band. It really pisses me off when people say that. Even Ian Curtis' wife Deborah, had a go at the critics in her book 'Touching From A Distance'...saying that 'Closer' was not the depressing album that people try to make it out to be. And look at 'Love Will Tear Us Apart', not many artists have the ability to make such a lyrically sad song sound so euphorically joyful. 'Band of Gold' by Freda Payne being another I can think of right now.

There's way too much emphasis put on Ian Curtis' depression and suicide. Lots of other musicians and artists have taken the same path as Ian without it reflecting as much on how their music is judged. Joy Division recorded some of the ballsiest punk/rock n roll ever made. Please don't be another one of the sheep who tar Joy Division with the 'depressing' tag.

Ithink they are sh*te. have the warsaw bootlegs etc etc and tried my best to get into them a number of years ago..
he couldnt sing and is revered because he died young and tragically.....

New Order were far better but thats just opinion....

That band "Walter mitty and the realists" thats a great name

yeah but he wrote some cracking lyrics and his voice was wracked with emotion... what d'you want?... mariah carey?...

the last few years have gone a bit mad for this joy division revivalism and all that malarkey unfortunately ends up with the man being put up on a pedestal... i hate the way that happens to dead people... joy division were a great band though, helped along by a great producer......

..as were new order in the 80's... in fact, my favourite band of the time... we won't talk about everything post 'technique'...

"Get Ready" was good, "Republic" and "Waiting for the Sirens Call" not so great, but still New Order and even when they're treading water they're still better than half the bands out there.

actually, i'll agree with everything you said there...

...it's just that they were so magnificent in the 80's... power, corruption and lies, low life, technique and the singles especially... everything about them, from the media shy no publicity stance to the artwork to the contrary attitudes to the actual music was just cool as you like...

Groovy Stee: That's all well and good. I still think they were crap. I mean, I liked them when I was seventeen, and bought all their albums, but I'm twice that age now and they don't wear well. I think they're hugely over-rated; it's got nothing to do with them being "depressing"; it's more like I just find them dull. And I'm aware of the "irony" of the name. Cheers.

I'm not far behind you vandala and a long time fan...they still do it for me. Fair enough...they have become quite fashionable to say the least in the last year or so. But I wouldn't let that stop me liking a band. The kids will get bored with it soon but their music will stand the test of time. Anyhoo my problem was with them being labelled depressing which is a tag they are too easily labelled with.

I actually like names like that. And You Shall Know Us By the Trail of Dead is another. Bit of a mouthful but at least it grabs your attention. I'd feel a lot less embarassed telling someone I was going to see a band called Get Cape etc. than telling them I was going to see Ham f*cking Sandwich !

The should have called themselves "I'd kill for a hang sangwich and a cup o' tae" so.

Or 'Ham Fucking Sandwich'.. cool in a 'Man Bites Dog' kinda way

I think ham sandwich are only brutal....but they have everbody talking about them...so crap name or no crap name ppl know who they are....

I have to say the all time worst band name- in terms of trying to purposely offend and also as its rate of shock value is in direct proportion to their talent (generic, gutteral metal nonsense)- is A**l C**t... absolute rubbish. Also, what about bands whose members come up with wacky monickers? The Young Knives, for example. I'm not a huge fan of their late 70s post-punk aping, though they don't bother me too much- but they all have 'kerrazy' names...can't remember all of them but I think the bass player is called 'The House of Lords'. He's just your typical nerd with Rivers Cuomo style specs and a shirt that marks him out as someone who works in the IT dept. No doubt it's meant to be ironic-weird names/terribly sensible look...still crap though.

As much as I adore them, "Pixies" (as opposed to oftly mis-appropriated "The Pixies"), was always a truly appalling name for a band. But I guess you can get away with anything if you are hugely talented...

So true. The Cape one is ridiculous.

People always make this mistake with Doves aswell... This peeves me!

ahhh..the doves and the pixies, 2 great bands

PQ

:-(

How about The The The?

i referred to them as da the

'Does this offend you? ...yeah' or something similar, they're on the NME tour this year. I'd love to go up to them a la the old Harry Enfield character from the Hula Hoops ads and say 'Oi, w*nkers, NOOO!'... and then begin to rant over how stupid that name is. Its not big, and its not clever

'The All-New Mongolian Oversized Purple Diabetic Chicken Dancing Troupe Band Of Doom. On Acid'

I would buy this bands album on name alone... :-)


I think Parton hit it on the head, who cares if people think the bands name is sh*t as long as people are talking about them! If the band has the music to back it up, they'll more often then not gain themselves a fan, all on the basis of their sh*t/brilliant name!

Dennis Hopper Chopper .. not sure if I like it or hate it!

Or as they say in Yorkshire ' '

haha

heheh...very good

Mick Salmon and the Cutlets

Do they play surf n'turf music?

Smokey Rock n Roll.......

Sometimes a bit cheesy though.....they were good for the first few albums but began to stink after a while...

So they started out as a nice smoked Gruyere and turned into a bad Roquefort!

Ten bands with food in their names...

1. Red Hot Chili Peppers
2. Bread
3. Godley and Creme
4. The Cranberries
5. Hot Chocolate
6. Martha And The Muffins
7. Salt N' Pepa
8. Smashing Pumpkins
9. The Lemonheads
10. Strawberry Switchblade

Then there's always..

Neneh Cherry,
Eagle Eye Cherry
Bananarama
The Jam
Meat Loaf
Cream
Lemon Jelly
Sugar Ray
Pearl Jam
Black Grape
Fish
Cake Sale
Soup Dragons
Fuzzy Duck
Muffin Men
My Friend the Chocolate Cake
Black Eyed Peas
Tangerine Dream
Veruca Salt
Fiona Apple
Walter Trout
Country Joe and the Fish
Sweet Honey in the Rock
Klewitz Burger
Milk and Honey Band
Blue Oyster Cult
Damien Rice
String Cheese Incident
Bowling for Soup
Peaches

and of course... Half Man, Half Biscuit

(phew!)

Some of the best selling bands of all time have had truly woegeous names - The Beatles, Pearl Jam, U2, The Smashing Pumpkins. I think Ham Sandwich is a great name for a band, but as some have said, I don't the name is that important. Great band names - ...and you will know us by the trail of dead, Ween, Meat Puppets, Neutral Milk Hotel.

Has anyone mentioned 'On A Friday' yet?